Fill or Kill: Emily the Socialista

It’s voting day in the Granite State and Emily Ratajkowski was there to introduce Bernie Sanders:

“So I am a young woman and um, well, just to make one thing clear: I’m here because I support Bernie Sanders… I’m not here for the boys.”

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Nice Emily.

But boys don’t give a shit what you think – and why would we?

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When Emily fumbled her iCloud password we learned how deeply embedded she is into the counter-culture.

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Though the matter was already settled, phone pics reconfirmed that her ass checks out.

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Feeling the rug, Bern, feeling the rug.

ERsi

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Editorial for Team MAGA (Make America Great Again):

let's dooooooo this

let’s dooooooo this

Internal TDT polling strongly suggests Trump brings a high baba booey factor, a giant wall, and big well-deserved fuck yous at people like Iran, Rosie O’Donnell, Hillary Clinton, and college students. Can’t beat that.

Final report taken: Katie May

Sad news: beloved TDT mid-week mainstay Katie May has passed away from injuries sustained while shooting on set. She was 34.

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At times Katie was a tad whorish, but who’s perfect?

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Fortunately her ass checked out.

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She was known as the “Queen of Snapchat”. Like Captain Stabbin who stormed across many a Floridan shore, Katie had a nice run.

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Farewell, Katie, the next few Wednesdays will never be the same. Please take this final and loving report.

Signing day highlights

Dicaprio Bootle, Tariqious Tisdale, Brodarious Hamm, Messiah DeWeaver, Octavious Cooley, Osiris Crutchfield, Monterious Loggins – a few names to highlight from yesterday’s Nat’l signing day.

DIRTY B